Strangely enough

So possibly through some sort of madness, or some sort of inspiration *the two go hand in hand as you know* I have decided to re-enter the blogosphere.

a few things.

Lately I've been re-examining what my creative output should be. I have been struggling with this since I was a pre-teen. I sit and listen to records and think about that "feeling". Musicians would know what I'm talking about. It's that feeling where you know that what you're doing has the same effect on you as it does on the person who listens to it. Whether that be by voice or by music. When someone can feel passion oozing out of the speakers, you know what you are doing has meaning. I haven't felt this in a really long time and I just feel like I'm running in place.

then there's theater.

Hello, old friend. It's been a while hasn't it?

Yes, it's been 10 years since I have acted on stage. Which is just completely ludicrous to me considering how much it has always meant to me.

Basically where I'm at in my life, I'm starting to lose my own say in how these two things are able to be accomplished. But then again being this close to the downward slide, aren't we all losing our own say?


nextly

*warning this next section could induce flashbacks to a more teenage angst-ridden past*

I'm honestly sick of people judging everyone based on such inconsequential things.

There are points in your life where you will change. Times when you'll reflect and regret. Times when you fear what's coming up.

Which brings me to the point. With everyone changing so much in their lives, what good is it to judge the current? I mean we're all guilty of it. But it's the action of going through your head upon first glance that is so disgustingly inhumane.


and then there are those who will constantly be my Gibraltars.

bbl

I have a friend who lives for everything Broadway. He breathes it, he sleeps it and yes to finish the common saying he eats it. I doubt very seriously my life would be as wonderful as it is without him in it. In fact I know it wouldn't.

Yet, there are those out there who would judge him, either overtly or covertly.

And the obvious irony is that he wants nothing but the best for most people.

I was at a local eating establishment a couple of days ago and an older couple sat across the room from him but out of his view. It seemed to be like they should be paying admission to compensate for the amount of staring these people did. And their eyes. You could hear the words coming out like "oh my God, why does God let people like that exist" or another popular one "they should just ship all them people off because they're so evil". It is because of these people that I will always have doubts as humanity as a whole and could also very well explain why I cry when people do genuinely nice things for each other. *fictional or factual*

jb-h

I can't believe it's been almost 4 years babe. and more unbelievable to me is how much my heart hurts when you're not around.

i'm still puppy-loved crazy.

god i love you


np

oh my friend
you will always be there
right up there with the best.





so i'm hoping i can actually get some comments on this stuff.

i love feedback. and i also contrary to popular belief enjoy interaction.

xo kiddies

-r