Things that are wrong in the world today/Things that are good in the world today

---BAD

1) finding pictures of Kristin Chenoweth at the Oscars with comments from people asking who she is.

2) People STILL not knowing what Rent is

3) Ralph Nader *damn you sir.. if you fuck things up again for all of us.. i will never ever forgive you ..

4) dubya. enough said.

5) Damn it.. i STILL have no drummer



---GOOD

1) Non-Equity casts making me salivate

2) April is only a few short weeks away

3) Friends are wonderful

4) Actually feeling somewhat accomplished by my singing voice for the first time ever

5) jess. enough said.


be awesome with me people.

-out

god bless musical theater

so.

ok for the life of me i just can not comprehend creating something that becomes a worldwide phenomenon. yes, it's true.. when i write music.. i'll be like. wow.. that's pretty awesome. but to think that it could have any sort of grand scale freaks the hell out of me.

then you have something like rent.

i have to think that jon.... somehow knew the impact this show would have.. but what i don't think he would have known is that it has such a grip on so many lives.

i had the privilege of attending rent in athens, ohio last night..
2 things you should know

1) i've seen non-equity casts before and usually, save a couple of people, the casts have been .. well let's just say.. awful
2) because of #1 my expectations were to have an "enjoyable" show.

The answer to both questions is fuckshitdamn.

AMAZING cast.. enjoyable? HA yeah.. if i wasn't bouncing i was bawling.

just goes to show you.. 12 years later. if there is a fresh breath in a show. it can.. and i would say should go on as long as it can until it runs out of breath.

new pseudo-crush
christine dwyer.
*best maureen ever.. and sox fan.. and septum pierced. yeah beat that.

seriously though.. if i had the money i would totally follow this tour from city to city just to be a part of something i consider truly special.


i love you rent.

a week later

Hello all of you who actually read this.

scanning.

scanning.

ok the less than 10 of you. thanks for wasting some time with me.

i stayed up again all night last night.. i've really been having a hard time actually FORCING myself to go to bed.

however, i decided to spend my time wisely. i searched stage door videos on youtube.

this is what i love about the theater. people... real people, right in front of you.. real people outside the theater.. usually tired.. and probably sick of hearing the same thing every night from a different person. say for instance you know you had a bad show.. and there's people out there waiting for you. and they're going to say what you know isn't true for that performance. do you act gracious or do you say yeah i really sucked tonight. .. a very strange question that i would love to ask someone.

speaking of which. the pink, gold and green countdown has officially reached the two month mark.

pink=legally blonde... hopefully
gold=a chorus line ... but not if..
green=wicked ... two words.. annaleigh ashford.. i PRAY she's still there..

i'm also getting a upturned nose concerning non-theater people.. i just have a hard time understanding what it is about theater that people don't like.. now i know that there are some.. like swarley who i have shown the light to and they love it now.. but there are others who are just like meh.. i understand people are gonna have their opinions but come on.

it's also v-day comin up.. and jessica has officially informed me she doesn't want anything or necessarily to do anything either.. kind of mixed emotions on that.. i'm not sure if she doesn't want anything because she knows we scrape for pennies a good amount of the time..

i'm convinced that kate shindle is the best female singer currently on broadway.

just do a search on youtube people..

kate shindle.. and the word somewhere..

tilt head for approximately a minute.

then watch video

pull jaw off of the floor

-signing off.

never thought

So, here i sit

Things seem so different but then I run into old friends.. realize they're in the same boat that I am.

this guy i used to know named Rick whom i haven't seen in like 10 years came in. after we did our "whoa, crap how are you?" moment. he went back to the table with the girl he came in to the mountaineer with and said "that guy right there inspired me to love the theater.".

i know it sounds ridiculous but that small statement meant the world to me. every day in my life i try to live by a late mentor's mantra *in everything you do, inspire" knowing that i have that ability confirmed the fact that i am supposed to teach. If just one kid out of 30 can say that about me.. i know i've made a difference. and THAT is truly living. making a difference. and sometimes the best ways to do that is to do it without even realizing it.. and just being yourself.


I can't seem to stop listening to the Legally Blonde cast recording. Two songs in particular "Legally Blonde" and the "remix" of the aforementioned song.

I know.. you will go "ew" why are you listening to that. 12 year old girls listen to that, not 29 year old men.

My retort to them is that it's good. and that's the end of it.

Christian Borle, Laura Bell Bundy and Kate Shindle have my heart. .. amazing performers.. April can't come fast enough.

i just can't believe that i'm still up at 7:30.

yeah. i'm a fool sometimes.

well.. most of the time.

Strangely enough

So possibly through some sort of madness, or some sort of inspiration *the two go hand in hand as you know* I have decided to re-enter the blogosphere.

a few things.

Lately I've been re-examining what my creative output should be. I have been struggling with this since I was a pre-teen. I sit and listen to records and think about that "feeling". Musicians would know what I'm talking about. It's that feeling where you know that what you're doing has the same effect on you as it does on the person who listens to it. Whether that be by voice or by music. When someone can feel passion oozing out of the speakers, you know what you are doing has meaning. I haven't felt this in a really long time and I just feel like I'm running in place.

then there's theater.

Hello, old friend. It's been a while hasn't it?

Yes, it's been 10 years since I have acted on stage. Which is just completely ludicrous to me considering how much it has always meant to me.

Basically where I'm at in my life, I'm starting to lose my own say in how these two things are able to be accomplished. But then again being this close to the downward slide, aren't we all losing our own say?


nextly

*warning this next section could induce flashbacks to a more teenage angst-ridden past*

I'm honestly sick of people judging everyone based on such inconsequential things.

There are points in your life where you will change. Times when you'll reflect and regret. Times when you fear what's coming up.

Which brings me to the point. With everyone changing so much in their lives, what good is it to judge the current? I mean we're all guilty of it. But it's the action of going through your head upon first glance that is so disgustingly inhumane.


and then there are those who will constantly be my Gibraltars.

bbl

I have a friend who lives for everything Broadway. He breathes it, he sleeps it and yes to finish the common saying he eats it. I doubt very seriously my life would be as wonderful as it is without him in it. In fact I know it wouldn't.

Yet, there are those out there who would judge him, either overtly or covertly.

And the obvious irony is that he wants nothing but the best for most people.

I was at a local eating establishment a couple of days ago and an older couple sat across the room from him but out of his view. It seemed to be like they should be paying admission to compensate for the amount of staring these people did. And their eyes. You could hear the words coming out like "oh my God, why does God let people like that exist" or another popular one "they should just ship all them people off because they're so evil". It is because of these people that I will always have doubts as humanity as a whole and could also very well explain why I cry when people do genuinely nice things for each other. *fictional or factual*

jb-h

I can't believe it's been almost 4 years babe. and more unbelievable to me is how much my heart hurts when you're not around.

i'm still puppy-loved crazy.

god i love you


np

oh my friend
you will always be there
right up there with the best.





so i'm hoping i can actually get some comments on this stuff.

i love feedback. and i also contrary to popular belief enjoy interaction.

xo kiddies

-r